Friday, August 5, 2011

The Visitation Prayer

Note: I am not religious, but I was raised that way.

In times of duress, I sometimes long for the comfort that other people seem to be able to take from religion. Anyway, I was thinking of the Serenity Prayer the other day, turning it over and over in my mind, trying to make it applicable to myself (and anyone else in my situation) more fully and specifically. The most well-known version is as follows:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

but it just feels sort of trite and over-used.

Expanded visitation, (we've just gone abruptly to an expanded standard visitation) is new for us and difficult for me, and my son is having some small problems with it, too. I did want him to have more time with his father, and now he definitely has that, it just happened a lot more quickly than I was ready for and maybe more quickly than my son was ready for either... especially as there is no way to explain to a two year old such a dramatic scheduling change. (Prior to this we were only having one overnight every other week or so, with some shorter weekly visits.) I've tried to explain things to my son and he now seems to understand that Mondays have something to do with seeing me and Thursdays have something to do with seeing his dad, but that's about as good as it gets right now. I keep telling myself that it'll be good for everyone in the long run, but I have all these doubts and fears that maybe I'm not being as good a parent as I could be because I gave in to this too soon.

Anyway, it's not easy on me to be parted from my son so much/ for so long at once, so I came up with my own, loosely-based, version of the Serenity Prayer for myself. It goes something like this:

Dear Higher Powers:

Grant me the focus and the busyness to distract me from my child being away from me,

The serenity to trust that my co-parent means well, loves our kid, and would never purposefully hurt him.

And the strength to let go, breathe, laugh, and use this time to take care of myself for my child.


I'm pretty sure that the Visitation Prayer is applicable to any co-parent dealing with visitation.

Do you have a version of this for yourself to help you get through things?

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